I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
