My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
