im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
