why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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