youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
