I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
