the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I think I sprained my soul last night
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
