God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I think my fart just growled at me.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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