I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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