I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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