OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize