i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
