I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
