I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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