the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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