how can u be prego again
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
