i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
