I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
so let's talk penis.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize