first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
