the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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