well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
