Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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