Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
