Taylor Swift is so right about you.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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