my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
