finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize