You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
