Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize