Pappa wants mamma naked
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize