windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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