you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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