so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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