When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You ruined the universe
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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