Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
