Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
