So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize