SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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