It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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