so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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