Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
