my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
