conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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