does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
