She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
