I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize