Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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