I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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