Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
