i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize