But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
