the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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