he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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