we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My dick has a subreddit
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
