how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
