first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I did not marry a roomba.
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