hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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