can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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