whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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