Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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