so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
