Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Randomize
